


Mac And Charlie Are Boyfriends

by kryptonianmenace



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-08-11 11:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16474739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryptonianmenace/pseuds/kryptonianmenace
Summary: “And for the record, I don’t think that made us actually boyfriends, man.”“Nuh-uh. No way, dude. We totally are. The high-five sealed the deal, man. We’ve been boyfriends for almost thirty years now."---Mac and Charlie have been boyfriends since seventh grade. Except, not really.Takes place during and after season thirteen. No rewrites, just additional scenes. Thirteen chapters for season thirteen.





	1. 5:00 PM On a Thursday

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'ed by [spacejackass](http://spacejackass.tumblr.com/).  
> Chapter 1 takes place during The Gang Beats Boggs: Ladies Reboot.  
> Chapters 2, 3, and 4 take place after Time's Up For The Gang.  
> Chapter 5 takes place during The Gang Gets New Wheels.  
> Chapter 6 takes place after The Gang Gets New Wheels.  
> Chapter 7 takes place after The Gang Does A Clip Show.  
> Chapters 8 through 13 take place after Mac Finds His Pride.

Charlie waited until it was just him and Mac in the bar to bring it up. Dee was off doing the Boggs thing again (they tried calling her but the connection sucked and she had hung up on them), Frank had snuck on the flight to try to get laid, Dennis was off doing some scheme that he thought Charlie and Mac were too white trash to be apart of, Mac was upset with Dennis and shouting to himself, and Charlie didn’t really care. Plus, this gave him the perfect opportunity to ask the question that’d been weighing him down without the others around to butt in.

“So like, now that you’re openly gay, are we still boyfriends, dude? Or was that just while you were still into chicks?”

He had cut off Mac’s rant about being excluded, but he wasn’t really bothered. After all, this was Mac, they’d always cut each other off. It was how they talked to each other.

Mac stopped and stared at Charlie. The look on his face was a ‘Charlie You’re An Idiot’ look that Charlie was used to seeing, but there wasn’t really a good reason for Mac to have that look at the moment. Well, at least, Charlie didn’t think there was a reason. It was a perfectly reasonable question.

“Bro,” Mac started, the confusion in his voice visible in his body from his head to his hand gestures. “What in the god damn hell are you talking about?”

“Seventh grade,” Charlie said, shrugging and pulling his beer closer to himself. “We got real high before your first ever date with a girl and you asked me to be your boyfriend.”

Mac sputtered before pointing at Charlie with the lip of his beer bottle. “That doesn’t even make sense dude, and I don’t remember it, so it didn’t happen.”

Charlie let out a scoff and took a swig of his beer before replying. “Well, obviously, you don’t remember it. You were high as shit that night. You got higher than me. But like, I said yeah, and then we high-fived to make it official. So we’re boyfriends.”

“Wha— Why would high-fiving make it— We’re not boyfri— Why would you say  _ yeah _ ?” Mac asked, having to set his beer down to keep from dropping it as he ran his hands through his hair in confusion.

Charlie could only shrug. “You said it’d be the same as being best friends, except this way we didn’t have to get emotionally involved with girls we dated if we didn’t want to, cos we already had each other.”

At that, Mac groaned and finally sat down in the bar stool next to Charlie, resting his head in his hands. “I was so fucking oblivious to the fact that I was gay, holy shit.”

“Yeah, dude,” Charlie said with a laugh, earning him a punch in the arm.

“And for the record, I don’t think that made us actually boyfriends, man.”

“Nuh-uh. No way, dude. We totally are. The high-five sealed the deal, man. We’ve been boyfriends for almost thirty years now,” Charlie said. 

Mac sighed. “Charlie, that’s not how it works. Boyfriends do stuff like make out and bang and go out together and shit. We don’t do that.”

Instead of replying, Charlie grabbed Mac’s face and pulled him into a kiss. He grinned into it when Mac immediately pressed in for more, eagerly involving their tongues without Charlie having to do anything.

Charlie pulled away with a laugh and hopped out of his seat as Mac reeled, trying to catch up to the sudden change.

“It’s official now, bitch!” Charlie crowed, pointing his beer at Mac before striking a victory pose. “We’re boyfriends! No take backs!”

“God damn it, Charlie!” Mac shouted, scrambling off his stool as Charlie bolted out of the bar. “Get back here!”


	2. 7:30 PM On a Saturday

Mac didn’t look up as Charlie joined him at the hotel bar, but the tension in his shoulders eased up just a bit.

“How ya doing, man?” Charlie asked, stealing Mac’s drink instead of calling for the bartender.

Mac shrugged.

“Is this about what Dennis said? Cos you’re not ugly. Like at all, dude. I think the muscles are a little weird, but that’s mainly cos I think you’re weird. You make ‘em work,” Charlie said, startling a laugh out of Mac. Of course he thought muscles were weird, Charlie thought a lot of things were weird.

“I don’t know,” Mac said, taking a long pause. He took his drink back but just stared down into it. “I think I just… didn’t realize I was so obsessed with him until he threw it in my face.”

Charlie scrunched his face up in confusion. “Dude. Everyone can tell you’re in love with him.”

“But I don’t want to be!” Mac’s outburst caused Charlie to jump, and the people nearby paused to give concerned looks before losing interest.

“You don’t?”

Mac sighed and slumped forward. “I know how much of a dick he is. I know we’re codependent cos of that bullshit time Dee pointed it out. I know it’s not normal. But I don’t want to feel anything for him. I just want to be Mac and Dennis, no feelings involved.”

At that, Charlie remained silent. Mac wasn’t expecting a reply anyway. Charlie had always known Mac the best, and he knew Mac was done talking about Dennis.

Charlie didn’t speak until they were on their fourth beers.

“Was that kiss I gave you the other day harassment?” he asked.

Mac tilted his head to get a better look at Charlie. “Nah. I mean, those seminar nerds might say it is, or Dennis might, I don’t really know all the rules and shit, but I don’t think so. I liked it. It was you, you know? You’re my best bro.”

Charlie nodded thoughtfully, staring off into nothing and not meeting Mac’s eyes. “Good. Yeah. Good, good. Cos I’d like to do it again.”

Mac’s eyes went wide as Charlie finally looked at him. “You do?”

“Well, we are boyfriends,” Charlie said, a smug smirk slipping onto his face as Mac realized what he was doing.

“God damn it, that’s not—“ Huffing in frustration, Mac made to get up, only to stop. Eyeing Charlie in consideration, he slowly sat back down. “Okay, yeah, sure. We’re boyfriends. For real, now. Cos I wanna do it again too.”

Caught off guard, it was Charlie’s turn for his eyes to widen. “Wait, really?”

“But if we’re gonna do this, you gotta give up on the Waitress, man,” Mac said. “I don’t like sharing, especially with that bitch.”

“I— what?” Charlie sputtered.

Smirking, Mac leaned further into Charlie’s personal space. “You actually wanna do this?”

Charlie let out a hurried “Yeah, man” before eagerly catching Mac in another kiss.


	3. 1:00 AM On a Sunday

Mac grinned as Charlie passed him the spray-paint-covered sock again. They had matching rings of paint around their noses, and their clothes were scattered across the floor. Sat in just their underwear, they sprawled out on the couch bed, their legs bumping into each other constantly.

“You’re cute when you’re high, bro,” Mac said, bursting into a fit of laughter and leaning closer to Charlie. Pulling the sock to his face for another hit, he smiled lazily at the other man. “Paint looks good on you.”

“Yeah, well,” Charlie slurred. He brought his hand to press against Mac’s face as if to push him away, but didn’t push at all. The hand did nothing except cause Mac to continue laughing. “Well, you’re… you’re high… you’re gay when you’re high, bro.”

Breaking down into more laughter, Mac turned his head and pressed his face to Charlie’s shoulder. The paint on his nose rubbed off on the shorter man as Mac’s body shook from his amusement.

“What’s— what’s so funny, man?” Charlie complained, grabbing the spray can to get another hit.

“I’m always gay,” Mac said. “I don’t need to be high to be gay.”

“No, no,” Charlie said, adjusting his arm to wrap it around Mac, who scooted closer to lay more comfortably on him. “I know that. It’s like. Like. Gay Mac is fifty percent more gayer. When he’s high. And I’m more gayer around Gay Mac.”

“I’m Gay Mac, right?” Mac said, pointing to himself with wide eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah. You’re gay, Mac,” Charlie said. He handed the spray can back to Mac.

Mac let out a sigh and took the can with a relieved look on his face. “Oh. Okay, good. I like being gay.”

Charlie grinned and tightened his arm around him. “Yeah, buddy?”

“Yeah,” Mac said.


	4. 4:00 PM On a Sunday

“I can’t believe Mac is being such a little bitch about this,” Dennis said. He was a bit too aggressive with the glasses he was washing, but nothing broke so he didn’t stop.

Dee hummed to show she was listening and continued scrolling on her phone.

“It’s like he can’t handle constructive criticism. He’s been avoiding me ever since the seminar. You know he didn’t come home last night? He didn’t even text me where he was,” Dennis continued.

“You were a bit of a dick to us all yesterday, so it makes sense that he would be upset,” Dee said with a shrug, grabbing the beer Dennis handed her once he was done with the bar’s glasses.

“Oh, boo hoo. It’s not my fault he’s a pussy who can’t handle the truth.”

Dee sighed and rolled her eyes. “You basically told a bunch of strangers he was in love with you and then told him it was never gonna happen.”

Before Dennis could reply, the sound of the door slamming open and then closed drew their attention. Mac yawned as he strolled in, his hair and clothes a mess. There was a hint of silver on his face, but it was overshadowed by scruff and dirt.

“Charlie’s gonna be late. Frank is off fuck knows where and their landlord is being a dick about the rent again,” Mac said. He slipped behind the bar to grab a beer before moving to sit next to Dee, completely ignoring the murderous glare coming from Dennis.

“So you can answer Charlie’s messages, but not mine?” Dennis asked, only to be cut off by Dee.

“Is that Charlie’s shirt?”

Mac hummed around his beer bottle before replying. “Yeah. Mine got messy last night once we started huffing paint, so I stole one of the clean shirts I could find.”

“You spent the night at Frank and Charlie’s,” Dennis said, his glare not lessening.

Confused, Mac looked at Dennis, then at Dee, and then back to Dennis. “Yeah? Why?”

Scoffing, Dennis turned away dramatically. “God, you’re such a sensitive little bitch. Did you seriously go home with Charlie and get high all because I called you ugly?”

“What are you talking about? Dude, I told you already, that seminar scheme was so cool! It was totally badass,” Mac said, getting more animated with each sentence. “And why would I care that you called me ugly? I know you didn’t mean it, bro. You were just doing that to really sell it, I know I’m not ugly.”

“No, he definitely meant it,” Dee said, causing Dennis to nod and repeat “Definitely meant it.”

“No, you didn’t,” Mac said, waving dismissively. “Anyway, why are you all worked up?”

“Because you slunk off to get high with Charlie last night and didn’t check in with me!” Dennis yelled.

Startled, Mac met Dennis’ eyes and set his beer down. “Calm down, man. I was gonna text you but I lost my phone somewhere in Charlie’s apartment.”

“You should’ve told me you were going over there in the first place!”

Mac let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever, man. I’ll make sure to do that next time. I think I’m gonna head home for a shower and a change of clothes, so I’ll be back in a bit.”


	5. 4:45 PM On a Tuesday

“Seriously, though, dude. What did you mean you could do better?” Charlie repeated, causing Mac to groan.

Pushing his bike into the bike rack next to Charlie’s, Mac leaned on the rack and gestured vaguely. “I dunno, man. I panicked. I’m used to saying I’m gay now, but I’m not used to having a boyfriend, you know? So it slipped out.”

“I don’t care about the boyfriend thing!” Charlie yelled. Mac ran a hand down his face as Charlie continued. “You didn’t realize we were boyfriends for thirty years, of course I’m not gonna care about that! What did you mean you could do better?”

“Charlie, dude, have you seen yourself? You’re a mess.”

Affronted, Charlie stiffened and crossed his arms. “I’m a  _ hot _ mess, dude, and I’m the best you’re ever gonna get.”

“Uh, no, you’re not,” Mac said with a scoff. “I’m the hotter one in this relationship, which means I could get hotter guys.”

“See, that’s not really matching up with what you say when you’re trying to fuck,” Charlie snapped, earning scandalized looks and a few giggles from passers-by.

Flushing, Mac pulled himself to his full height and raised his voice. “Shut up! That’s sex talk!” he yelled. “Sex talk doesn’t count! Don’t you use that against me!”

“Don’t tell me not to use it against you!” Charlie yelled back. “I’m gonna use it against you! You think I’m sexy!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Admit it!” Charlie screeched. He stepped closer to Mac and pointed angrily in his face. “Admit I’m sexy!”

“I have to remind you to shower! What about that could possibly be sexy?” Mac yelled, shoving Charlie back a step.

“And yet you still want my dick, so clearly I’m irresistible!” With that, Charlie swung his arms out to either side, inviting Mac to hit him.

Sputtering, unable to come up with a reply, Mac started gearing up for a punch, only to pause when the door to the fast food joint they had stopped in front of opened and a man leaned part way out the door way.

“Either shut the fuck up or go suck his dick somewhere else, you’re scaring away my customers,” the man said, shocking both Mac and Charlie out of their argument immediately.


	6. 10:00 PM On a Wednesday

“Dude, dude, look at these baseball cards that me and Charlie got yesterday!” Mac exclaimed once Dennis had finished showering and getting ready for bed. “Especially this one, I really think this one’s a—“

“Mac, I don’t really care,” Dennis said as he grabbed a beer and joined Mac at their kitchen table. “I want to sit here and think about how I’m gonna get my new Rover back up to the standards that a man of my caliber deserves to drive.”

Mac paused, setting the cards down before speaking. “Well, I guess. I just, like. Thought I would catch you up on what Charlie and I got up to while you were doing the Range Rover thing.”

“And I just, like,” Dennis mocked. “Don’t wanna talk about you right now.”

“I just feel like we haven’t been as close as we used to be, man,” Mac said. “For example, you haven’t even told me where you got another Range Rover.”

“I bought it off John,” Dennis said. He stood to rifle through the fridge as Mac’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about! Who the hell is John?” Mac asked.

“Just some soy boy beta cuck,” Dennis said into the fridge, waving a hand dismissively. He let out a noise of frustration as he realized there was nothing appealing to him in the fridge and gave up his search. As he slammed the fridge shut, empty-handed still, he turned back to face Mac. “Doesn’t matter. Right now, we need to think about cleaning the Range Rover so it doesn’t have his weird economy man germs all over it.”

Mac threw up his arms in defeat, rolling his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, sure. I still have no idea what you’re talking about, but just take it to the car wash or something.”


	7. 3:00 PM On a Friday

“I’m telling you, tonight’s not gonna work,” Charlie said. “We can go tomorrow or something. Help me with these kegs.”

Dennis let out a frustrated sigh as he followed the shorter man back into the bar, blatantly ignoring the new shipment of beer Charlie was moving. “No, it has to be tonight because if you keep putting it off, you’ll keep finding ways to get out of it,” he said. “And I, for one, am sick of you and Mac coming up with excuses to get out of hearing what I have to say.”

“Oh, oh, I’m sorry,” Charlie said, voice pitching higher as sarcasm filled his tone. “Are you sad that we don’t really care why you left Philly? Are you sad that we don’t really care why you came back?”

“I’m not sad, you asshole. I’m trying to feed your questions that you’re obviously too embarrassed to ask,” Dennis replied with a scoff.

Rolling his eyes, Charlie stopped and turned to look Dennis in the eye, keg momentarily forgotten. “Dennis, you left us out of nowhere and then didn’t talk to us for over a year. Yeah, we were upset and confused for a bit. We’re your family, man. Your best friends. And you left us,” he said. “But we got over it. You know why?”

Huffing indignantly, Dennis crossed his arms and met Charlie’s gaze. “Why?”

“Cos we remembered you’re a bastard, man,” Charlie said. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m super glad you’re back, dude. But I don’t really need to hear why.”

“You can’t just call me a bastard every time you want to get out of something,” Dennis shouted. “Just come to dinner with me and let me explain everything to you!”

“You can’t just barge back into our lives and boss us around all the time again, Dennis!” Charlie yelled. “Things have changed since you left and you don’t even care about that. We’ll ask about North Dakota when we’re ready to hear it. But right now, we don’t fucking care.”


	8. 11:00 PM On a Saturday

“So you didn’t come to the parade because Frank helped you come out to your dad?” Charlie asked, grabbing the beer Mac offered him and making room on the couch.

Mac nodded and settled down next to him, absentmindedly kicking aside the fruit he had left on the coffee table. “I wasn’t really feeling up to being in a pride parade, and he figured that the only way I would be able to start really being proud to be gay would be to tell my dad.”

Charlie slung an arm around Mac and pulled him closer. “You finally did that dance you were working on?”

A small smile graced Mac’s face as he glanced at Charlie. “Yeah. It really helped. I can ask the prison guards if they can get me a copy of the security camera video so you can see it.”

“Oh dude! You could put it with the Project Badass tapes!” Charlie said. “Let’s be real, coming out at a prison is pretty badass.”

“I think I’ll keep it separate. It’s more important to me than Project Badass, you know?” Mac said, leaning further into Charlie as he laughed.

“You do you, man. How’d your dad react?”

Mac hesitated, eyes prickling at the memory, before wiping at his eyes and letting out a heavy breathe. “He walked out in the middle of it.”

“Oh, shit, dude. I’m so sorry,” Charlie exclaimed, squeezing Mac tighter and turning to rest their foreheads together. “Are you doing ok?”

“I think I am, actually,” Mac said. “Dad didn’t get it, but the others at the prison did, I think. They gave me a standing ovation. Frank even cried, dude, it was weird.” He maneuvered his hand so he could hold Charlie’s, but otherwise staying in the same position.

“Frank cried? Frank Reynolds?” Charlie asked.

“I was surprised too, man. But I think he’s finally starting to get me, you know?” Mac replied with a grin. “He’s never going to fully understand, but he’s trying. That’s the most important part.”

Charlie let out a low, thoughtful noise, but pulled back from Mac. Their hands remained locked and he stared at those, contemplating.

“Charlie? Babe?” Mac asked, squeezing his hand to snap him out of his thoughts. “What’s wrong?”

Charlie started fiddling with Mac’s fingers in one hand, his beer bottle loosely held in the other. “You already know that Frank still thinks I’m straight.”

“Yeah.”

Sighing, Charlie set his beer down on the coffee table before readjusting to lean against Mac. “The guy won’t even admit that there’s a possibility that he’s my dad, you know? I don’t really want to know how he’d react to me liking men.”

“Dude, I don’t think the problem is you coming out to him,” Mac said slowly. “I think the problem is that he treats you like his son but won’t admit it.”

“He’s the closest thing to a dad I’m ever gonna get,” Charlie said, shrugging. “And he probably is my dad, which just makes that even more pathetic.”


	9. 4:00 PM On a Tuesday

“I don’t get it, there are people who don’t like sex? With anybody?” Frank asked, voice carrying loudly throughout the mostly empty bar.

Mac paused, take out container in one hand and beer in another. “Yeah. But that’s not exactly what asexual means. Asexual is when you aren’t sexually attracted to anybody, but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy sex if you do have it, or that you can never have sex.”

“But why bang ‘em if you aren’t attracted to them?”

“I’ve had tons of sex with people I’m not attracted to, Frank. Namely, women,” Mac said, completely deadpan. “Everybody has their reasons.”

“I thought you just did that because the Catholics messed with your head,” Frank said.

“Oh my God,” Mac muttered to himself. “Dude, I just told you. Everybody has their reasons. It’s different for everyone. Don’t try to tell me you’ve been attracted to everyone you’ve fucked.”

“Alright, alright,” Frank said, waving his beer bottle to change the subject. “So there’s the asexuals who aren’t sexually attracted to anyone, the bisexuals who are attracted to everyone, the gays and the lesbians who are attracted to the same gender. What am I missing?”

“You missed most of what I told you,” Mac said. “Like transgender people, intersex people, lots of other stuff.”

“Run it by me again,” Frank said.

“Frank, we’ve been through this six times already,” Mac said. “Come on, man. Work with me here.”

“I’m trying! I’m trying!”

Running a hand down his face, Mac sighed. “Can we take a break? I just want to eat my food.”

“Fine, but you gotta explain it to me again later,” Frank demanded.

“Yeah, sure. Hey, uh. I actually wanted to tell you something,” Mac said, wincing as he watched Frank shovel food in his mouth.

Frank motioned for Mac to go on and made garbled sounds around the food in his mouth.

“When I told you I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship, that wasn’t exactly… true?” Mac said slowly. “I, uh. Have a… boyfriend. I guess. It just sort of happened, really. And I didn’t say anything cos he isn’t ready to come out yet. At least not to our friends. But I wanted to let you know cos he and I have been talking and he’s thinking about coming out soon.”

“You’re dating a closeted guy?” Frank asked. “How’s that work?”

Mac shrugged. “He doesn’t care around strangers, so it’s not like we’re hiding it, but he’s not ready to have people that we, like, see daily and shit know.”

“You gotta introduce me once he’s out,” Frank said.

“Sure, man,” Mac said, only to get distracted by the door opening.

“Heyo!” Charlie called out as he entered the bar. “What’s up?”

“Heyo!” Mac and Frank chorused back.

“Mac’s been teaching me about the LMAO community,” Frank said once Charlie joined them at the bar.

“The what?” Charlie asked, giving Mac a questioning look.

Mac scrunched his face up in confusion. “That’s not what it’s called, dude.”

“Yeah, it is. It is. It’s all the gay letters,” Frank said.

“What do you think LMAO stands for, Frank?” Mac asked as Charlie started giggling.

“You know, the- the L is for lesbians. Then you have you, Mac, that’s the M. Then the asexuals you told me about. And orgies. LMAO,” Frank said.

At that Charlie burst into loud laughter, barely holding himself up against the bar, while Mac tried not to join him.

“You’re not even close, dude,” he said, biting back his amusement.

“Whatever, I told you you need to run it by me again,” Frank said.

“Not all gay men are named Mac,” Charlie said, stilling shaking with laughter.

“Alright, then the M stands for moron,” Frank said, waving a hand dismissively. “That still includes Mac, so it works.”

“No, it doesn’t!” Mac shouted. “I’m not a moron! You’re a moron!”


	10. 7:30 PM On a Friday

Charlie waited until he and Frank were alone in the bathroom to bring it up. It seemed almost fitting, bringing it up in the same environment he told the gang about his weird relationship with gender that he still hadn’t bothered to figure out.

“I’m dating Mac,” he said, crouching to grab some of his secretly stashed alcohol in the cabinets under the sink.

Frank abruptly stopped peeing. “Jesus Christ, Charlie! When did you even get in here?” he shouted, half turning away from the urinal to yell.

“Woah! Woah! Woah!” Charlie yelled, covering his eyes. “Don’t aim that at me! Your dick is so gross dude! Put it away!”

“Don’t sneak up on a man when he’s pissing!”

“Ok, man! Just put it away, holy shit!”

Charlie turned away as Frank grumbled and finished peeing.

Starting in on his stashed alcohol, he kept his eyes clenched shut and hummed loudly to drown out Frank.

“You’re good now,” Frank said after an uncomfortably long time.

“Thank god,” Charlie muttered before turning back to face Frank.

“So what were you saying when you interrupted my piss?” Frank asked, pulling the alcohol from Charlie to take a swig.

“Oh, yeah. I’m dating Mac,” Charlie said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Frank frowned in confusion. “I thought Mac was dating some closeted guy,” he said, waving his hand for emphasis.

“Uh. He is. I’m the closeted guy,” Charlie said, shrugging and giving a sheepish grin. “This is me coming out to you.”

“Oh!” Frank exclaimed. “So you’re gay too? Or are you that one that Mac told me about, the uh. The… I know it starts with a B.”

“Bisexuals?” Charlie supplied. “I don’t know, man. Like, in theory, I like men and women, you know? But I’ve never really actively wanted sex, and when I’ve had it, it wasn’t that good. It’s just a thing you do. Mac makes it good though, and I know I like Mac. I don’t really have things figured out yet.”

“Well, good for you, Charlie,” Frank said, patting him on the arm. “You don’t gotta figure it out just yet. Just be happy with Mac.”

Charlie grinned. “Yeah, man. I am.”

“And he seems happy with you, too,” Frank added. “The thing with his dad got him down but he’s got you.”

“Thanks, man,” Charlie said. “Especially for being there for Mac. I know you’re not actually, like. The father of any of us, except maybe me or whatever, but you reacted to his dance the way Mac needed his dad to react. And that means a lot.”

“Don’t get all emotional and weird on me,” Frank said, hitting Charlie in the arm with the bleach-bottle-turned-alcohol-container. “I was just helping a friend.”


	11. 3:30 PM On a Monday

Dee’s eyebrows shot up as she heard Mac loudly entering the bar through the back door with excited shouting. From the office, it sounded like he was repeating the word “Babe” but she told herself that that couldn’t be right. Quickly logging out of all the websites she had open, she quietly stuck her head out the door of the office, only to see Mac shaking an irritated Charlie by the shoulder.

“Shut up, man, I’m adding to my dream book,” Charlie snapped.

“Just pause real quick, bro,” Mac whined. “There’s three cats attacking a kid in the alley, you gotta see this.”

Sighing, Charlie looked up from his dream book and gave Mac a disbelieving stare. Dee quickly ducked back into the office to avoid being seen, but continued eavesdropping. “Three cats attacking a kid.”

“Yeah, babe. Come on,” Mac said, pulling at an unmoving Charlie.

“See, I just don’t think that’s true, man,” Charlie said, voice pitching higher as he ran a hand through his hair. “You’ve been making shit up for days now to distract me.”

Scoffing, Mac pulled his hand back from Charlie in offence. “Now, that’s just— why would I do that?”

“You’re trying to get me alone so you can trick me into doing kinky shit!”

At that Dee risked putting her head out again, shock clear on her face as the two men remained oblivious to her spying on them.

“I am not— It’s not—” Mac stuttered. “You said you liked it!”

“Not when I’m adding to my dream book!” Charlie said.

Groaning, Mac dropped heavily onto the stool next to Charlie. “Then hurry up, so you can go back to liking it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Come here,” Charlie said, rolling his eyes. He pulled Mac closer for a quick kiss before going back to the drawings he had been working on.

Grumbling under his breath, Mac leaned against Charlie to get a closer look at what he was drawing.

“What the hell?” Dee asked, storming out of the office and behind the bar. Slamming her hands down, she yanked Charlie’s dream book out of his hands to force both men to look at her. “What the hell was that? Explain yourselves! Are you two banging?”

“Uh, yeah. Obviously,” Mac said as Charlie started yelling and reaching for his book. “Stop being a such a bitch, Dee, and give him back his dream book.”

Absentmindedly tossing the book back, Dee crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. She ignored Charlie’s muttered insults out of years of habit as she locked eyes with Mac, who glared right back. “How long?”

“Since middle school,” Charlie said, cutting Mac off before he could reply.

“God damn it. Ignore him, he’s an idiot. Only since you did the Boggs thing again,” Mac said, swatting Charlie in the back of the head. “Charlie, how many times do I have to tell you? We weren’t actually boyfriends.”

“Yeah, we were, dude. No take backs on the high-five,” Charlie said.

Rolling his eyes, Mac returned his attention to Dee. “Charlie’s convinced we’ve been dating since seventh grade, but we didn’t actually do things that boyfriends do until you did the Boggs thing,” he said.

At that, Dee smirked. “I think Charlie’s right,” she said. “You’ve always been a little gay with each other. You definitely have done boyfriend stuff for years now.”

“Told you,” Charlie muttered with a small smirk, still not looking up from his dream book.

“Oh, shut up,” Mac snapped. “You aren’t part of this relationship, Dee. What do you know?”

“I know enough to say that it’s about damn time,” Dee said, giving him a genuine grin as she pulled out bottles of beers for the three of them. She stuck her bottle out for a toast as a peace offering. “Do the guys know?”

Mac reluctantly clanked his bottle against hers, failing at hiding his embarrassed happiness at her comment. “We talked with Frank about it a little bit after I came out to my dad. Dennis hasn’t figured it out yet.”

“Dennis is off in his own little world most of the time,” Charlie said, finally finished with his dream book. “We could probably bang in front of him and he wouldn’t even notice.”

“First of all, we are not banging in front of Dennis. Ever,” Mac said. “I don’t want him making weird comments, like, critiquing us or whatever. Second, he’s not in his own world, he’s just oblivious.”

“You know, that is totally something he would do,” Dee said, eyes wide as she held back laughter. “He’d try to start, I dunno, coaching you or something.”

“Ugh, gross,” Charlie said, face scrunching up in disgust as he drank his beer. “I don’t want Dennis telling me what to do during sex.”

“You and me both, dude,” Mac said, tapping his beer to Charlie’s. “You and me both.”


	12. 3:15 PM On a Sunday

“Jesus fucking Christ, Den,” Mac muttered as he entered the bar, Dennis following closely at his heels.

“I’m just saying, there are such things as boundaries, and you cross a lot of them, Mac,” Dennis said, voice carrying across the mostly empty bar.

Charlie shot a curious glance at the two of them from behind the bar, where he was pouring himself a beer.

“It’s a bowl,” Mac said, gesturing in frustration as he took a seat at the bar. “It’s just a stupid fucking popcorn bowl, it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter, Mac!” Dennis exclaimed. “We each have our own popcorn bowls. What kind of man uses another man’s popcorn bowl?”

“A man who hasn’t had the chance to do the dishes yet?” Mac asked, turning to roll his eyes at an amused Charlie.

“An uncivilized backstabber of man!” Dennis shouted, causing Mac to groan.

“Frank and I just eat our popcorn out of the bag,” Charlie said. “Who uses a bowl?”

“We eat stovetop popcorn, so there’s no bag to eat it out of. Tastes better,” Mac said, propping his head on one hand in obvious exasperation. “Can I get a beer? He’s been bitching about this for a while now.”

“I have every right to ‘bitch’ about this, Mac,” Dennis said. “That bowl is my property, and you can’t just go using it whenever you like.”

“Oh, it’s your property, huh?” Mac said, voice on the verge of yelling and sitting up properly to face Dennis head on. “Weird, because I remember buying it after you left. For myself. Because I was living alone.”

“Two popcorn bowls while you’re living alone? Don’t be ridiculous,” Dennis said.

“I can have as many bowls as I want, asshole,” Mac shouted, getting out of his seat to crowd closer to Dennis. “And I can use them whenever I want, because I’m the one who fucking bought them!”

Eyeing the two warily, Charlie set Mac’s beer down and started moving to come out from behind the bar.

“Stop touching all my stuff, Mac!” Dennis yelled. “It’s creepy as hell!”

“I don’t touch any of your shit!” Mac yelled back. “Why in the hell would I even consider touching any of your shit?”

“Because you’re obsessed with me!”

“Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah!” Charlie yelled, rushing to put himself between the two as he saw Mac about to lunge at Dennis.

Blocked by Charlie, Mac backed up, rolling his eyes and sighing heavily to himself. “It’s not always about you, Dennis,” he said before grabbing his beer and chugging it down in one go. Wiping his mouth off, he set the glass back down and settled back on the stool. “Now, I’m gonna stay here and drink with Charlie. You can either stop being a dick and join us, or you can fuck off. I don’t have to take this from you. I’m your roommate, not your fucking wife or some other bullshit.”


	13. 11:30 PM On a Wednesday

“So you and Charlie, huh?” Dennis said as he settled in on the couch.

Mac glanced back from where he was setting up the rental DVD of Predator to give him a questioning look. “Me and Charlie what?”

“You’ve been spending a lot more time together, and not in your normal way. You banging?” Dennis asked.

“Oh!” Mac exclaimed, standing once the movie was set up and joining Dennis on the couch. “Yeah, dude. And we’re going on dates and shit like that.”

“Are you guys… Are you boyfriends?” Dennis asked. He kept his eyes focused on the TV, studiously ignoring Mac looking at him.

“Yeah. Why’re you asking?” Mac asked.

“Just wondering,” Dennis said, taking a sip of his beer. “How long?”

“Since Dee did the Boggs thing again,” Mac said, a small smile lighting up his face. “Charlie keeps insisting we’ve been boyfriends since middle school, though. You know how he gets when he remembers things wrong.”

Chuckling, Dennis tipped his head back to look at the ceiling. “You both have pretty shit memory, dude.”

“Oh shut up,” Mac said, playfully punching Dennis in the shoulder. “You know Charlie’s memory is the worst.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dennis said, finally turning to look at Mac. “You guys… Are you doing… good? Like, as boyfriends, now?”

Mac beamed. “Yeah! We just click, you know? We’ve known each other so long that we already know what works between us and what doesn’t, so we can skip all that annoying getting-to-know-each-other stuff. Yeah, we annoy the shit out of each other sometimes, but we knew that going into it, so it’s not a problem.”

“Cool... Cool,” Dennis said, turning back to the TV. “Cool, man. I’m, uh. I’m happy for you. Both of you, uh. Yeah.”

“Thanks, man! That means a lot,” Mac said. “And uh, hey, listen.”

Dennis glanced at him after it had become obvious that Mac was waiting for him to acknowledge him. “Yeah?”

“I’ve been talking with the rest of the gang, Charlie mostly, and we think we’re ready to hear about North Dakota,” Mac said. “We got most of our personal shit sorted out, and you’ve been back a while now. I think it’s time, man.”

Dennis swallowed thickly before abruptly avoiding Mac’s gaze and looking at the TV. “Awesome. I’ll, uh. I’ll tell you all tomorrow. When we’re together.”

“Yeah, man. When we’re all together.”


End file.
